Hilarious & Unofficial Big Bass Splash Prizes

Would we get punched for trying to hand out these ridiculous "prizes"?

The Sealy Outdoor Big Bass Splash is an annual event where anglers from all over come to win the big bucks. There are hourly payouts with 1,500 for the heaviest bass of each weigh-in hour and 5,000 goes to the first exact 3.00, 4.00, and 5.00 lb bass brought in for each tournament day.

However, the SECOND angler to bring in an exact weight bass that’s already come through doesn’t get zilch except for a few sympathetic awes and oohs. That got us thinking … What if there were tons more prizes for specific weigh-ins, and what if … we at least provided a laugh to the anglers and audience in the process.

For example: 4.09 lb bass could earn the fisherman a bottle of cleaning spray. Giddy up 409!

1
Second Exact Weight
You're #2!
If you are the second fisherman to come weigh in an exact weight, it can feel worse than just being 0.01 lb off. We think these folks should get SOMETHING, so how about a poop emoji plushy in honor of being #2.
2
.01 Off
So close, yet so far away
Being .01 lb away from winning $5,000 has to hurt, and we feel it's totally understandable if you've got to scream a bad word or two in that moment.
As a consolation prize, we can maybe start prividing "Starter Swear Jars" to those unfortunate souls.
Can you tell that this image was doctored?
Can you tell that this image was doctored?
3
The Pie Fish
Not fish pie
Sometimes we see an angler bring in a bass weighing in at 3.14. We could start carrying blueberry or apple pies in the van to bestow to what we affectionately dub, "The Pie Fish." We know ... we're nerds.
Jason Davis, Getty Images
Jason Davis, Getty Images
4
The infamous 4.20
Uh ... we are a country station, so we guess there would be no harm in ... giving a Willie Nelson CD to the anglers bringing in bass weighing in at 4.20 lbs.
Getty Images
Getty Images
5
The Exact 6.00
Respectable, but not worth 5k
Let's give them 5,000 in monopoly money.
Yep, we see a lot of people come in and hit the exact 6.00 and begin cheering. We see even more folks hit 5.99 or 6.01 and cover their faces in shame.
The problem here is that $5,000 pay outs only go to the exact 3, 4, and 5. WE can start handing out toy money to the anglers bringing in 6 pounders, and they shouldn’t be too upset since a 6 lb bass is a respectable sized fish and they’re more than likely going to be getting some tournament money.
6
6.66
Shake the Devil Off
It makes us uncomfortable to see those fish brought in weighing 6.66 lbs. What do y'all think about us handing bibles out to the fishermen that bring those "devil fish" up to the official scale?
It's either them, or their bass, but somebody needs Jesus!

More Questionable or Obscure Reference Prizes

3.50 A plushy of the Loch Ness monster

4.04 Give a link to their prize and it’s not a real site

4.25 Gets the angler a dollar in quarters.

5.04 May the Fourth be with you and you get a new Toyota … Wait… No sorry, that’s a Toy Yoda.

7.04 An American Flag

7.11 A slushy and a hot dog?

7.77 A box of Lucky Charms

7.89 Nine cookies (7 ATE 9) So dumb.

10.04 VHS copy of Smoky and the bandit. 10-4 good buddy

10.51 HEY, that's our radio station with the decimal point in the wrong place. We'd have to find a Kicks 105.1 related prize for these anglers.

12.34 An abacus or cheap calculator. This is mainly funny because someone bringing in a 12.34 lb bass is most likely going home with a huge check, a truck, a boat, and … a calculator we picked up at the dollar store. We won’t be offended if they throw it out the window of their new Dodge Ram.

Filed Under: Big Bass Splash, funny, giveaways, prizes

Categories: East Texas News, Events, Weird