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TSA Now Allowing New Items on Planes

Air travel just got more exciting, and believe me, when you get the rundown of what’s acceptable to now bring on board, you have to wonder if the panel discussion wasn’t carried out over cocktails.

The “Transportation Security Agency” (TSA) has made it legal to possess:

(1) folding knives with blades that are 2.36 inches or less in length, and not more than one-half inch wide.  QUESTION:  Can I bring my ruler and protractor with me as well, to measure the blade?

(2) novelty baseball bats not more than two feet long.  QUESTION:  Don’t you think more damage could be inflicted by swinging a two foot bat, instead of a 36 pound Louisiana Slugger, inside of a jet with floor mounted seats?

(3) ski poles, hockey sticks, and two golf clubs…not three, and not four…but, TWO only!  Box cutters and razor blades are still on the “hit” list, but your billiards cue is fair game.  QUESTION:  Has anyone from TSA ever seen the movie “Roadhouse” starring Patrick Swayze; especially the bar scene where “Jimmy” uses a single pool cue to wipe out every bouncer in the establishment?

You will be happy to know that pilots, air marshals, and flight attendants want to veto this measure, but that won’t likely happen, since an “internal TSA working group” has decided for us, that the above mentioned items are not dangerous to traveler’s.

2.36 inches!  Really?  How did the bureaucrats come by that exact measurement?



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