Had some friends from California contact me last night, and I sure do appreciate them going "old school" and actually using the phone to CALL.  That's right, they didn't E-mail, and they didn't send me that dreaded 250 word text message that I'm usually trying to read during a meeting.

As head of the complaint department, I listened to Boris and Morris (those are their names) vent about California being "broke", and that more taxes may be levied against its citizens to salvage the state's fiscal crisis.

Couldn't take the "convo" any more after 15 minutes, so I suggested they move to Texas, and explained the biggest difference between where I live, and where they live:


(1)  A Congressman is jogging with his dog along a nature trail when a coyote blocks their path and shows his teeth.  The dog begins barking, and the Congressman shouts "go away".  The coyote attacks both of them.

(2)  The Congressman starts to intervene with a large stick he found near the trail, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi", realizing he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

(3)  The Congressman telephones Animal Control, who captures the coyote and bills the State $200 for disease testing, and $500 for relocating it to a safer habitat.

(4)  The Congressman calls his veterinarian, who arrives at the scene, collects the dead dog and bills the State $300.

(5)  The Congressman goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting his bite wounds bandaged.

(6)  The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

(7)  The Congressman gets a bill passed that spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

(8)  The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

(9)  The Congressman's security detail, running 100 yards ahead, are fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train new agents.

(10) PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million law suit against the State.


(1)  A Congressman is jogging with his dog along a nature trail when a coyote threatens to attack.

(2)  The Congressman shoots the coyote with his State issued pistol and keeps jogging.  He has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

(3)  The vultures eat the dead coyote.

And this my friends, could be the reason why California is out of money, and Texas is doing just fine.