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Yes ... this is a list of items you can buy from Amazon with the intent to improve your time shopping locally. Congratulations. You have stumbled upon the dumbest thing on the internet. Now it's up to you on whether or not you should share this article to incite anger or laughter ... or to simply back out now and not feed into this insanity.

Why am I writing this? Maybe because I'm not exactly right in the head. I just think it's good to be 100% prepared when going into any situation. That includes heading downtown and supporting local businesses.

If you have anxiety about going into the public and seeing your neighbors helping the local economy, you're going to want to have the right gear. In the end, shopping locally IS important for your town. Let's just let this article be an exercise in irony. If you end up buying anything from this, then that works out for my company so ... help me help you.

Dr. Scholl's HEAVY DUTY SUPPORT Pain Relief Orthotics

Amazon

Dr. Scholl's HEAVY DUTY SUPPORT Pain Relief Orthotics

BOOM! Item #1 is orthotic foot pad things. The ones in this link are for dudes over 200lbs, but you can get normal orthotics here.

Why? Because shopping local means physically walking around. It's good for you, but you don't want to put unnecessary strain on them little piggies. The more you can walk, the more you can shop ...local.

Buy it: Click Here

What the What?

Amazon

A Tote Bag A dvertising Local Shopping

Those town stores will sometimes buy those paper bags that have the "Shop Local" stamp on 'em. Let those poor folks save their disposable bags and help the environment with this reusable tote.

Buy it: Click Here

Slim Credit Card Holder

Amazon

Slim Minimalist Soft Leather Mini Case Holder Organizer Wallet

Place your credit cards and forms of I.D. in this bad boy! You'll be shopping like a pro in no time.

You can also fold paper money and slide it into the slots. Nobody has to know.

Buy it: Click Here

Shades

Amazon

Some Sunglasses, I dunno

Stores sometimes close. When they do, it's mostly when the sun isn't out. Using that logic you can determine that the Sun IS out when stores are open.

Don't let that bright ball of fire slow your shopping spree. Get some sunglasses. Get THESE sunglasses.

Buy it: Click Here

'Buy Local' T-Shirt

Amazon

A Shirt

Is it lazy to have the fifth item on this list to be essentially the same thing as the 2nd item? Yes it is.

Let the people know you 'buy local' with this t-shirt.

Buy it: Click Here

Challenge: Buy all 5 of these items, and take a picture of yourself in your downtown area sporting all this gear. There is no prize other than knowing you participated in blah blah blah I don't want to write this article anymore.