Living in East Texas probably isn't as exciting at life in New York or Wakanda, but we have our own set of super heroes that should be considered for the next Avengers movie.

With "Avengers: Infinity War" coming out, I thought I'd run through a few super heroes that are specific to East Texas.

  • Getty Images/iStockphoto
    Getty Images/iStockphoto

    Major Texas

    AKA: Lone Star

    This hero is big, good lookin', and keeps himself clean at all times. He doesn't really likes "doing the team thing," and wants to secede from the East Texas Avenger group.

    He has cans of Dr. Pepper on his utility belt, and you know he has his concealed carry license.

    Oh, and did you notice he outranks Capt. America?


  • Getty Images/moodboard RF
    Getty Images/moodboard RF

    Wonderful Woman

    AKA: Lady Thank Ya

    Down here in the South, we have been hardwired with a specific set of manners, and we tend to hold doors open, pull chairs out,  say, “Yes Ma’am.”

    It’s new to us that we can actually get scolded for these things, so in our eyes, The individuals that give the simple "Thank you" are the real heroes.

    How would she do against Thanos?
    Realistically she'd most likely have to get saved by someone else, but at least she'd thank the person allowing her to run to safety.

  • Getty Images/iStockphoto
    Getty Images/iStockphoto

    Warna Brother

    AKA: Coppa-Head (Get it?)

    This one is iffy. This super hero doesn't exactly work within the law, but neither does Batman.

    It's just to easy to zone out on these long Texas roads, and accidentally catch yourself cruisin' along at 80 mph.

    If you see a cardboard sign that points out where police officers are hiding ahead, allowing you time to slow down, or perhaps the familiar warning flash of headlights... you have a hero to thank. (This is as controversial as they get)

    Against Thanos?
    Depending on his skill level, he could perch up in a good spot, showing signs to Iron Man and Captain America, letting them know where aliens might be setting up possible ambushes.

  • Getty Images/moodboard RF
    Getty Images/moodboard RF

    Granny Legacy

    AKA: Memaw

    She keeps her recipes secret, but never fails to deliver the cookies and pies that can't be beat.

    She also sends checks for $14.32 on your birthday, so that's pretty cool.

    How would she do against Marvel big baddies?

    Has Thanos ever had his cheeks pinched? Does he know what a switch is? He doesn't want any of that.

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    Hunter Overload

    AKA: Bambi Overkill

    This is the guy that has too much deer meat in his freezer, and needs to give it away. If you aren’t an avid hunter, and you still somehow get your hands on some venison … that’s all thanks to these heroes.

    In the hunt for Thanos ...
    Depends on the rifle I guess. We're not tasting that purple meat though.

  • Getty Images/iStockphoto
    Getty Images/iStockphoto

    Weather Wrangler

    Let's face it, the weather in East Texas is sporadic at best. Taking on the task of informing the community "WITH CERTAINTY" what the weather is supposed to look like is a tall task.

    That kind of bold bravery deserves the "hero" title for sure.

    Fighting Thanos
    We don't know how humid it is on Thanos' home on Titan, but we can safely assume it's nothing compared to East Texas humidity. Have fun fighting us feeling bogged down ya chump.

  • Jupiterimages, ThinkStock Images
    Jupiterimages, ThinkStock Images

    Sweet T. (Tea)

    AKA: Sugar Mama

    Sweet T. is ice cold, but sweet enough to make you want to slap your mamma.

    There are impostors claiming to be Sweet Tea up North, but after spending just a second with them, you'll know they're not the real deal.

    She'll send Thanos into a diabetic coma. (No laughing matter)

  • mikhail choumiatsky
    mikhail choumiatsky

    The Griller

    Grill 105

    Did you know there’s a super hero that serves delicious free burgers in East Texas? He's got sort of a "Bat-Signal" that works in the opposite manner. He'll signal where Grill 105 will be, and you can get free eats multiple times each month. You give me a free cheeseburger, and you’re my hero for the day.

    If an Marvel villains would just sit down and enjoy a good meal, I'm sure they'd be less grumpy.

  • Getty Images/iStockphoto
    Getty Images/iStockphoto

    Lady Local & Local Lad

    These super community concious people have never stepped in a Walmart or logged into Amazon. They shop local and let everyone know on social media.

    Against Thanos
    The galactic brute is focused on destroying half of the universe, so in a way he is doing his part in hurting big business. Can you say team up?

  • Getty Images/iStockphoto
    Getty Images/iStockphoto

    Misfit Mama

    AKA: The Stray Savior

    We’ve got a handful of hometown heroes that make it their business to find homes for every stray dog they come across. At the expense of their time and own personal comfort, they organize groups that feel passionate about making sure no furry friend goes without a home.

    Let's show Thanos those Sarah Mclachlan commercials showing all the sad dogs and cats in need of homes and see if he can keep the morale to continue fighting the Avengers.

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    It's Whataguy. Nothing else need be said.

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